Surgery on the Horizon

I have two more treatments, Monday and Tuesday, and then I'm scheduled for surgery on Wednesday the 31st. Mostly I feel ready, if not anxious, to get it over with. I know it will not be pleasant, but maybe it won't be too horrible. I won't know until it's over, and maybe not even then, given that I have to see if everything will heal.

The "what ifs" insert themselves into my consciousness unbidden - not unhealthy, I guess, but not particularly helpful. I want to be able to go back to work. I don't want to be away for too long. But what I want may not be the deciding factor.

For now I want to trust that the doctors and nurses will take good care of me, and that I'll wake up to the faces of my husband and my son. That is a good start.

I think I will use this site to update my progress. I know there is also a centralized site for people with illness to use for that purpose, but I feel more comfortable posting here. With any luck, I shouldn't be away from the computer more than three or four days. I promise I won't post if I'm still on a lot of pain medication.

The metaphor of the dive and the oxygen treatment may linger a while longer. I need ten more treatments after surgery, starting the very next day. I hope I am not too out-of-it for treatment on Thursday. I've seen fellow travelers be rather loopy post-surgery. But I know the chamber staff will watch out for me.

I carry the kindnesses of all my colleagues, friends, family, and loved ones with me in my heart.

See you on the other side.